most torturous musical experience

My Dearest Tortured Composer, 

I write to you today to tell you of one of the most torturous musical experiences of my life…

One that had me wanting to rip out my ears and never listen to music again.

And yet, this painful experience gave me an advantage few composers will ever have.

You see, I was working for a music teacher who trained producers and composers. He would reach out to people asking them to share their music, receiving hundreds of submissions. My job? Listen to ALL of it and categorize it by genre.

After thousands of amateur compositions, I gained a lesson so profound it changed how I think about music forever:

Most people are absolutely terrible at composing.

And the odds are extremely high that you are MUCH better than you think.

Think about it - how much music have you listened to in the past 5 years that was written by amateurs? People who are just starting out? Probably very little. Instead, you consume music created by:

1. The greatest musicians alive

2. Teams of specialists collaborating on single pieces

3. Works that went through hundreds of iterations before release

Any music in a modern film has dozens of experts behind it - not just the composer, but orchestrators, mix engineers, and specialists - all refining it to perfection.

No wonder you're tortured! You pour your heart into a piece, compare it to something written by a brilliant team, and experience utter despair.

This comparison makes you fear you'll never become the composer you aspire to be. The gap between your music and theirs seems impossibly vast.

But when you hear music written by someone less experienced? It's surprisingly encouraging. You realize everyone started somewhere - even the greats.

Brahms reportedly burned his first 20 string quartets. He had standards so high he destroyed pieces that didn't meet them, yet we remember him as one of history's greatest composers.

Here's my suggestion: deliberately seek out amateur compositions. Dig through Reddit's composer forums, YouTube channels of music students, or SoundCloud accounts with few followers.

Listen carefully and ask yourself:

• What specifically makes this music less effective?

• How does it differ from professional compositions?

• What would I change to improve it?

This exercise does two powerful things:

1. It lifts the crushing weight of impossible comparisons off your shoulders

2. It teaches you to identify what separates good music from great music

You might also realize you're further along than you thought. Composing stops feeling like something you "have to do" and becomes something you're pulled toward.

Visit r/composer or the Composer's Forum and spend 30 minutes listening and providing feedback. It sounds simple, but I promise - every time I do this, I walk away feeling rejuvenated about my own musical journey. And never forget...

The world waits for your music...

Luke

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